if anyone in NR18 is qualified as being a loser, i will be one... specify this word as being useless instead... u know what hurts? it's pretending to be okay when yur not... that's Jena's opinion... mine, when i want to help someone out and i realized i cant, only able to stand, rooted to the ground, and watch blankly is when it really hurts...
events after events since thursday... it started out for feeling guilty... i'm not doing much for the group project work... *as usual* and i've decided on a change... that i took up 3 tasks up from Alayne automatically... and 1/3 of it, is from research from the internet... i'm glad u know... that i'm useful for now... i felt i'm worth something... happily, i went... straight, going to the 5th lvl for some research to be done for the first task... know what?? PRINTERS are not available in the 5th level... i've got no diskettes with miie... oh well... big deal... there's the 3rd level when computers and printers are both available... and know what?? they're closed... great... give miie a break... doesn't that mean that i've gotta wait till Monday when school reopen that i can finish that first task?! it's too late... :(
these totally hit miie... sigh* oh well... explain to them... they'll understand i guess... but i doubt they'll believe miie that i've done research beforehand already...
jena....................... something is DEFINITELY wrong with you... u more u hide it, the more obvious it is... yur NOT a loser la... don't even think of feeling like one... yur so quiet the whole day long!! it's so... NOT u jena... it's so not u... :( yur not talking... yur not debating or challenging wad i've said... well... at least try teaching miie a lesson again!! oh ya... u sure did... "Go Away!!" is what u've said when i tried cheering u up... i tried to help... but ended up pissing u off... u left, after saying u felt like a loser... i was there... still having the "Go Away" sentence repeating and repeating at the back of my mind...
i'm useless... and i tried not believing them... for once, the arcade in sun plaza had failed to cheer miie up when i'm upset... it was 7pm++ then... sigh* i left... messaging jena to see if she's okay again... the whole conversation stopped after my 2nd message... she didn't reply... :(
3 years of being in the same class with u, 5 years in the same school, and 6 years of knowing u... on top of everything, u're just staying 3 floors beneath miie... if there's something i can help u out with, i definitely will..!! her name's hui ping and i called her apple... studying in *sa-tech* now and had problems in transportation cost... she cant get a conjestion with her ezlink card... since i've got 2 ezlink cards myself, i've offered 1 to her... and thanks to my big damned mouth, i discussed these to my parents... well... they forbidded miie to borrow the card to her, since using of someone elses card for transportation is illegal... BUT I'VE PROMISED HER ALREADY!!! don't they even understand...
i've messaged apple about it... and... she didn't reply... sigh*
and here... come forth the 4th event... alexandria hospital had sent a letter to miie... about the sponsorship thingy... i'm being refected...
i'm worthless... can't even do simple tasks... i'm useless... can't even cheer jenalyn up... i'm good-for-nothing... i can't even help out a friend i call a great friend... i'm a junk... well... alexandria just proved miie that...
so... jena... feeling like a loser and being called one is a different thing eh?? what about being CALLED and FEELING like one loser at the same time now??
can i cry now???