initially... the word was complicated...
now, complicated seemed of a TOO EASY word to describe my family lifestyle... things changed... saying hello is defintely easier than saying goodbye... who disagrees with that? come to miie, i'll smack yur face with the word naiveness within my sentence... unless the person yur saying goodbye to, is one definite ass hole...
i'm trying to convince myself that every household family will have their different problems... and never did i try to get involve in any of them unless they get miie involved... therefore, i cant compare... in whether my family's having some sort of great pressure that no other families are having... how bad is bad on my situation now, i do not know... its just like a tourist buying something and not know the market price... how expensive do u think a purse can be?? even if a purse cost a million bucks, and u don't know the market price of purses, one would not have the slightest stand of judging that whether the purse is cheap or expensive... who knows if that purse is being sold a zillion bucks somewhere else?? or even a dollar at some unknown places??? but from my perspective... i'm undergoing some really big stress in family matters now... and if i were to explain everything here, it would take miie a day... probably a day wunt be enuff...
i need to talk to someone... and those who knows miie, know miie very well... i don't talk to anyone unless i've being asked to... active listening??? like... its in my poem isn't it?? listen to what i'm not saying... but please... in this realistic world... u can't be held up even for a second... what a busy world ya?? slows down a sec and others would catch up... sigh* but does it matter to ppl like miie now??? especially when one just went through some traumatic events??? they don't care... all they might say, is probably... life goes on... so as to slip through your problem and made it as if they've helped to console u a little... *like that helped*
now u tell miie... what should i do??? continue being assertive and "eat my words"??? damn tat whole idea... my family... is somehow a broken one... not even physically, it includes mentally as well... like... physically, we're financially in debt??? and its not like a few thousand bucks in debt... its counted in a few ten thousands owed~~ thank god for being fair now??? lick my foot~!! what about mentally??? it's all inter-connected~!! i'm never gonna finish if i'm going to list them all out... there're just... too many!!! the most recent one?? we've just got an outsider involved in our family matters... but this time... really... thank god... i'm glad we got them involved... they've helped... thanks guys~~ *u guys made my day*
but... problems like these... are never going to be solved... we can't run... and we don't have the strength to face it... change that we to miie instead... i can't take it anymore... like... BOOM~!! who cares anyway ya??
whatever it is... life still goes on... which is the sad part... if only... if only i'm born in any other families but this one... why do it have to be them... the only happy part?? is i have my father to be with us... that is all... other than that?? freak miie out please... i'll gladly change my sir name to anything else if i'm capable of doing so... i disliked my home... i desliked my family... and most dreadfully?? i disliked myself... that's the naive part...